Should I Check E-Mail?

Have you checked in the past 3 minutes?

Did someone tell you that they sent you a really important email?

Are you with your family?

Was it your boss?

Was it family?

Parent you're avoiding?

What kind of son/daughter are you?

Someone from Facebook?

Get off Facebook.

Are you at work?

Are you procrastinating?

Do you want to continue this cycle of incomplete action and be locked in corporate purgatory forever?

Are you lying to yourself?

Yes, you are.

Are you expecting a job offer, lottery notification, or magic e-beans?


Do you want to keep your family?

By all means, JERK, check it.

Don't check.

Fool. Don't check.